Sometimes I just want to blend in. Or is it a way of hiding? Or is it because I don’t want to be at that place in time? Or is it because I don’t want to deal with ‘it’. Whatever that ‘it’ might be.
All I want, is to go inside of me. Living in my world. Not dealing with the outside world. Inside me, is not a dark place. It is a harmonious place. With music, colors, freedom and expression. It is a place where I don’t need to deal with others. With the emotions and feelings of other people. No second guessing.
In the outside world I pick up emotions that don’t belong to me. Even if you don’t say it. I can feel it. I am highly sensitive. Sometimes a blessing, sometimes a curse.
I have to deal with, what are not my feelings. I start thinking about it. And it becomes a part of me. Sometimes I want to protect you. Protect you from pain. Your pain becomes my pain. And I cannot help you because it is part of your life. It belongs to your growth. And if it hurts, it is part of my growth. I might need to put up plexiglass walls between me and the world. Or blend in.